Our family spends a lot of time together. I can probably count on one hand the number of times my husband and I have been without the kids. However, I can’t deny that I get to spend more time with them then he does. Since I am a stay at home mom I get to spend all day with them in the summers and on holidays while my husband works. By necessity, he sometimes misses out on fun activities and special moments. I try to capture it on video or in photos, but it’s not really the same. It’s a sacrifice he makes to support us and we all appreciate it. Because of this, I was happy to learn about the ‘donuts with dad’s lunch.
I made sure to give him the date well in advance so that he could get the time off to go. From all reports, donuts with dad event was a lot of fun. A bunch of dads hanging out with their kids. The kids had cute surprises like an ‘All about my dad’ worksheet. Zoe’s was interesting to read. She was wildly off on some things but really on point when it came to others. Zoe was ecstatic that Dad could come to her classroom and take part in donuts with dad. I think the only thing that disappointed her was that he couldn’t ride the bus to get there!
While Donuts with Dad was a short activity it was a special one and I appreciate that the school arranged it. Little events like these are the things my child will remember in the future. When she grows up and looks back I know that she will appreciate the time they spent together and because he made an effort she will also understand the times he couldn’t.
I think working parents spend a great deal of time worrying about the time they spend with their children. But, I don’t think that it’s the amount of time spent, as the effort put in that’s important. It’s not an argument for quality over quantity or vice versa so much as the knowledge that they tried.
Kids will grow up, they will get jobs, manage households, and have families of their own. Someday they will know your struggles, they will live through their own struggles, and when they do they will know that you tried. That you cared..and even that you would far rather have been spending time playing dress up or catch in the backyard but life just wouldn’t let you. They will know and they will love you all the more for it.
So stop worrying, stop trying to be that perfect parent who is always there, and just make the most of the time you do have together. That’s what they will remember.