The arrival of May means that Mother’s Day is swiftly approaching. Since the birth of my own children, I have been blessed to take part in Mother’s Day from the other side of the fence. As a mother, instead of a daughter. But it’s as a daughter that I’m writing this post. When I was little I loved my mother, she was my safety and my comfort. But, it wasn’t until I was older, after I had children of my own that I truly realized the depths of her love and sacrifices.
Being a mother is hard. There are days when there is nothing but Joy and love, but there are also days where there are pain and heartbreak. There are days where everything comes easy and days where no matter what you do, everything goes wrong. But you are there, you show up and you smile or yell, or comfort or fuss depending on the situation. Sometimes doing these things hurts your own heart so much that you can barely stand it but you do it because you’re a mom. That’s your job.
I never wanted to have children when I was little. I was going to grow up and have horses and dogs. Live in the country somewhere with my own private zoo of animals. Someday’s I do feel like I run a Zoo, but it’s definitely different than the one I imagined as a child. I wouldn’t change it for the world. And, if It wasn’t for having such a great Mom growing up, I would have no clue what I’m doing.
Mother’s Day – A Letter to my Mother
I don’t know if I have ever told you how much you mean to me. I hope that you know but its hard to find the right words in person or on the phone. When my heart is troubled and I don’t know what to do it’s you I call. This is not by mistake, it’s a sense of security built up by years of knowing that I can talk to you about anything. It is knowing that you are my rock and my defender. Sometimes, I admit, my ideas are a bit crazy and you need to talk some sense into me. Thanks for that too!
My husband makes me happy and my children make my life whole but none of that would matter if you hadn’t helped make me into the person I am today. You have made me compassionate enough to cry when those around me are in pain, strong enough to brush those tears away and do what I have to do and wise enough to figure out where I need to go even when the choices are hard.
You consciously taught me to be a good person. I was taught to say please and thank you, to work hard and do my best. You made me clean even though I hated it (I still suck at it, but I do it!). But it was through watching you that I really learned. It was the unsaid actions that molded me. Taught me true empathy and kindness. I know now, how hard it must have been to give me everything that I had. I know now, how much time and effort went into the things we shared, the horses and the trips and the endless parade of childhood desires.
I didn’t know then. But, I know now.
And I am grateful. I had a wonderful childhood. Everything wasn’t roses and rainbows all the time. But, I can look back and hope, that I can give my own children the same type of memories. Someday I want my girls to look at me the same way I look at you. I want them to be brave and kind and compassionate. I want them to look at the world with curiosity and wonder and never be afraid of following their dreams. You gave me that and I want to pay you back by passing that on to them.
Bring the mother to them that you were to me is the best way I know how to really make a difference in this world. This world needs more people like you. And I want you to know that, not just on Mother’s Day – but every day.